The value of friendships means so much to me, and the heartache of a divorce reinforced how important friends can be.
After 30 years of what I thought was a strong marriage, my husband left me. I was devastated. My children, family, and friends were as shocked and hurt as I was. And it was their love that sustained me.
At the time, I was the secretary at my church, and the concern and love the staff bestowed on me went far beyond friendship. In addition, many friends reached out to me. I had seven close friends in town who let me know I could call, and they always came to be with me. I knew my friends were sincere, and this meant so much. They didn’t just pay lip service to my needs, they followed up and contacted me every few days.
One friend carpooled with me to work, and every day I cried. She cried too. I felt so sorry for her because she heard me drone on about the same disbelief and hurt day after day. But, she kept listening until I had no more tears to cry. It took months before the tears were traded for any sort of true contentment.
Divorce is a painful and often isolating experience, but God provided support through so many friends.
Each phone call, hug, dinner, and trip shared with my friends brought healing to my broken heart.
If I did anything right, it was to embrace the love of others. When friends connected with me, I learned to say “Yes,” instead of “No,” or, “I don’t feel like it right now.” Looking back, I said “Yes” each time someone reached out.
When the phone rang, I answered. When friends invited me to dinner or a movie, I always went. I never turned anyone down.
Thinking about those days more than 30 years ago, I see much of my recovery came from those who surrounded me. And when others ask me for advice on how to handle a situation like mine, I encourage anyone not to isolate themselves.
When we are at the bottom, we need a miracle. I found my miracle in friends, God’s gift to bring me through the darkest time of my life.
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